


Stargazing

by Snarky_Synesthete



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: F/F, First Fusion, Fluff, Friendship/Love, amedot - Freeform, friends to fusions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-08
Updated: 2017-07-08
Packaged: 2018-11-29 05:34:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,157
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11434215
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Snarky_Synesthete/pseuds/Snarky_Synesthete
Summary: Amethyst and Peridot talk about Homeworld after Steven returns from The Trial, and find that they have more in common than they thought.





	Stargazing

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first published fic, and my first time writing for the SU fandom. Please be gentle.

Everything was horrible. Completely, utterly, ridiculously horrible. Awful, wretched, monstrously, stupidly horrible. Peridot desperately wished that she still had her vocal-log that Steven had given her...but it was broken, and had been given new life as a meep-morp in the barn. This was fine, Peridot told herself. She didn’t need it. She had the tablet. She was fine. She WAS. She now had the Tumblr and could record all of her data there. It was fine. This was fine. 

“Graaah!” she groaned into the night air, glaring in the vague direction of Homeworld’s galaxy. She didn’t miss it. She did NOT. Steven had just returned from his terrifying abduction and was fine, he was safe and sound and whole and NOT shattered by Yellow Diamond. Of course, no one had thought to come to the barn to tell either Peridot or Lapis what had been going on until it was too late, and Steven was gone. Pearl and Peridot had wrestled with thousand-year-old space junk with a single-minded panic that had exhausted them both, as Garnet struggled to keep Lapis from simply flying off to Homeworld as she had once done, a one-gem rescue mission. 

It had been rough. Peridot had missed having the vocal-log – it was so much simpler and more immediate than typing into a blogging platform. She wouldn’t admit it, but Steven’s English alphabet was still something she struggled to use. It just took extra time that frustrated her to no end. 

But Steven had returned, Lapis had calmed down, Pearl wasn’t crawling up the waste-chute of anything derelict, and everything was going to be fine. Peridot wasn’t jealous at all. 

She didn’t miss Homeworld. Nope. 

Except that she really did. 

It wasn’t Homeworld, really, though, that she missed. It was the certainty of it, the complete confidence in the system she’d been made for. There were no hard decisions to make, she knew exactly what her purpose was and how to fulfill it. There were some rousing debates about methods and the finer points of running kindergartens, the pros and cons of this substrata versus that. The needs of Homeworld, the materials available, and how best to utilize those materials for the greatest gain. Interesting, challenging work. Fulfilling, to know that she was performing the duty for which she’d been made. No confusion, no indecision. 

Peridot made another annoyed grunt, directed at the stars, and flopped onto the grass. 

“Is that you yelling out here, nerd?”

Peridot’s hands clenched reflexively in the grass. Amethyst. The very definition of confusion. A peridot-sized quartz soldier who had never even seen Homeworld and acted like something feral. Intimidating. Unknown. No matter how much data Peridot acquired about Amethyst, she never gained any certainty about her. 

Amethyst, in the strangely empathetic way Peridot had some to expect from the Crystal Gems, sat on the grass beside her. “You ok, Peri?”

Peridot threw her arm over her eyes and sighed. Not dramatically at all. She was a gem of logic. She peeped at Amethyst from under her elbow. “You see that galaxy up there?”

Amethyst looked. “Yeah, Garnet once told me it was Homeworld’s.” She bumped her knee against Peridot’s hip. “Not feeling...Homeworld-sick, are ya?”

Peridot sat up, pulling her knees to her chest, resting her head. “You wouldn’t understand.”

“You’re right about that. I don’t know anything about it except what I’ve heard from the others, and now from Steven. It...doesn’t really sound like my kinda place.”

“No,” Peridot agreed, looking up. “You’d be useless there. An off-color, either shattered or harvested.”

Peridot felt Amethyst tense up, and scrambled to justify herself: “That’s not what I’m homesick for! It’s – it’s awful there, and...” she looked at the hurt and defensiveness written all over Amethyst’s face, “And what’s worst about it is that before I came here, I would have believed that too. That if you didn’t fit in, you needed to be cut out.”

Amethyst crossed her arms, but Peridot could see she was trying to be patient. “So what DO you miss, then?”

“It was so much easier. I was so. I was better. I was more focused, more rational. I was more of a peridot. I was a certified Kindergartner, I was good at my job, and I loved doing it. I loved...being of service to Homeworld, to my Diamond.” She turned to look at Amethyst, but couldn’t seem to look at her face. She settled for her gem. “I was. Confident. Certain. Not. Awkward and angry and. Nerdy.”

Peridot felt rather than saw Amethyst’s demeanor soften. “That does sound like something worth missing. I wish I had a place where I automatically felt confident.” Amethyst laid back on the grass, eyes never leaving Homeworld’s galaxy. “I’ve never had anywhere like that. Except maybe,” Amethyst’s lips curled into a smile, “When I met the other amethysts at the Human Zoo. That was pretty rad.”

“I never noticed feeling any different around other peridots, as opposed to how I felt around other cuts of gems. I guess, really, I never...noticed...how I was feeling, at all. I was just. Working,” Peridot finished lamely. “And there was never any reason to build any. YOU know.” She made a gesture with her fists, bumping them against each other. 

Amethyst raised an eyebrow. “Build a what now?”

Peridot fell back on the grass, joining Amethyst in glaring at Homeworld. “YOU KNOW.” She blushed a deeper green. 

“Dude, I have no idea what you’re talking about. You built Kindergartens, right?”

“RELATIONSHIPS. We didn’t need to build RELATIONSHIPS because there’s no reason for peridots to...fuse.” Peridot trailed off. 

Amethyst laughed. “Oh, what? Is that why you were so put off by Garnet at first? Because you’ve never fused?”

Peridot’s blushed deepened. “Of course not! Why in the stars would peridots need to fuse? And you Crystal Gems are all insane, just...mixing gems! For no reason!”

“Whoa, dude, chillax. There’s lots of reasons to fuse! It doesn’t have to be some grand epic love story like Garnet. Pearl and I fuse to get things DONE. We’re,” Amethyst rubbed her hand over her eyes, “Not exactly the most stable. But we both feel better as Opal. More confident, stronger. Like we’re not both alone.” Amethyst turned her head to look at Peridot. “I guess that even though Pearl and I are both pretty lonely, when we’re Opal, at least we’re alone together.” 

Peridot kept her eyes fixed determinedly on the sky. “Steven told me you fused with him.”

Amethyst laughed. “OH man! Smokey Quartz! They’re awesome. I’d never fused with just Rose, so that was my first time fusing with another quartz. It was the best! I mean, Steven and I both have some like, what did he say about it? Self-image issues? Like, how he’ll never be able to be just like Rose, and I know I’ll never be a real quartz soldier like Jasper. But when we’re Smokey?” Amethyst sighed contentedly, “When we’re Smokey, none of that matters. We’re enough, at least for each other. And the coolest part of fusing is that those feelings sorta carry through into being just myself.”

At this Peridot did turn to look at Amethyst. “What do you mean?”

“Well, like,” Amethyst sighed, “It’s like, ok. I know how I feel when we’re Opal, and when Garnet joins in and we’re Alexandrite. I know how I feel when we’re Smokey. And because I can remember those feelings, and I know they were real and part of me, who I was at the time, I can sorta like. Call on those feelings? When I’m feeling crappy and like I can’t do anything wrong, I remember like the time when Opal saved Steven’s life. And I think, ‘That was me. I helped with that.’ And then I feel a little better.”

Peridot’s eyes widened. “Huh.”

“Yeah, I mean. It helps me, at least,” Amethyst shrugged.

Peridot clenched her fists in the grass again. “Yeah. I can see how it would.” 

Amethyst sat up. She tossed her hair out of her eyes and looked hard at Peridot. “Dude.”

Peridot glared upwards, feeling small and insecure in the face of Amethyst’s confidence, and she had never felt farther away from Homeworld. “What is it?”

“We should TOTALLY FUSE.”

Peridot sat up so fast that she actually bumped into Amethyst’s chin. “Excuse me??”

“OH MAN, DUDE. YES. WE HAVE TO DO THIS!” 

“This is unspeakable and ridiculous and ILLOGICAL there is absolutely NO REASON FOR US TO FUSE. What would we even DO with ourselves?”

Amethyst bounced up, holding her arms out wide. “Uh, dude? Look around! There’s no one to bother us or hassle us! No Diamond is gonna come outta the woods to poof you! And what reason do we have NOT to fuse? Come on.”

Peridot pulled a handful of grass out of the ground, crushing it in her fist. “Give me a reason. A LOGICAL reason. Then maybe I’ll consider this...this outlandish proposal.”

Amethyst snickered. “Okay, nerd. One: why not? Two: because it will be EPIC. Three: we’re friends!”

“Friends?”

“Yes, of COURSE we’re friends. And this way we’ll be able to see inside each other’s heads a little. And maybe I’ll...” Amethyst trailed off, her hyper-enthusiasm suddenly mellowing into something more like actual understanding, “Maybe this way, I’ll be able to feel what you felt about Homeworld, about belonging somewhere. And you’ll be able to finally understand what fusion’s about.”

Peridot blinked. “Those. Are surprisingly decent reasons.”

Amethyst pumped her fist into the air. “Ok, so you’re good with this?”

Peridot stood, straightening her spine, dropping the crushed grass and smelling its earthy scent. “How do we start?”

“We dance!”

Peridot lit up. “I just made a new playlist on my tablet!” She hovered it over to them and they looked at the songs. “You pick. I like all of these songs,” she told Amethyst. 

Amethyst’s face was serious. “OH! How about this one? We can JAM to this!”

Peridot smiled. “From Elle King’s album? I like it. I think I can...jam...to this also.” She hit play, and set the tablet down. She straightened, and started to primly tap her foot. 

Amethyst danced into view, rolling like an avalanche with a beat. Peridot couldn’t help but laugh at the discrepancy between herself and Amethyst. Amethyst wouldn’t know how to hold herself into some external pattern, and Peridot thought that it might just be time for her to loosen her old patterns up as well. She listened to the wailing guitar, and let it travel up her spine. She gave sort of an ineffectual wiggle, and then Amethyst was with her, hand on her hips, moving them to the beat of the drum. Suddenly Peridot could properly feel the music, and it flowed through her, from her hips into her chest and out through her arms, which she raised above her head and brought together with a clap. She took Amethyst’s hand from her hips and spun her around, laughing, and they danced together, learning each other’s rhythms and learning how to move together. Their gems lit, glowing purple and green, and as Peridot was spinning Amethyst, suddenly it was she herself who was spinning, twirling in place...the tablet on the ground seemed suddenly farther away, like she was…

Taller…

“OH MY STARS! IT WORKED! Of course it worked, this was totally logical. The most logicalest of conclusions, yup, absolutely! LOOK AT US, this is awesome! WE ARE SO TALL!!!” They broke into a hysterical laugh and fell on the grass, scrambling for the tablet. “Wait wait! We have to see what we look like! What do I look like?” Fiddling with the camera function, the fusion looked at herself for the first time. 

“Whoa. We’re bluer than Lapis. Nice eyes, dude.” The fusion was undoubtedly tall, with four eyes in a single row below Peridot’s gem, now colored a deep, sparkling blue and green. Full lips, a mountain of greenish hair, a star on her loose shirt, situated just under Amethyst’s gem, also dark blue-green. Her teeth were sharp but her mouth was soft, parted in a wondering smile. 

“So. What’s my name now? I think Peridot might know if I can just...think...she knows all sorts of gem cuts and materials and junk...”

The name came to her, bubbling up to the surface of her mind with a squawk. “Azurite! This is TOTALLY AWESOME. I wonder what we can do??” Azurite jumped up and made to materialize a whip from her chest gem, then suddenly stopped. She breathed in deep, and let her lungs empty slowly into the night air. She sat down on the grass, setting the tablet carefully aside, and looked back up at Homeworld’s galaxy. Now there were no feelings of fear, or resentment, or homesickness. Azurite breathed the night in deeply again, and sighed in contentment. 

“Stargazing. Perfect.”


End file.
